"it" just moved
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
