try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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