Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
