This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
