Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Pooping to opera.
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