My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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