I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
