We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
