he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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