somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
