I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
