The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Text me some of your sweat
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
