I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
