I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
