sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
