Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
