96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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