sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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