he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
