Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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