rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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