If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
why do cheetos always look like penises
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
