So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
how drunk are you?
Several
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
