Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
