I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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