he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
