Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
