I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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