in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Randomize
