I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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