Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
