then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
