dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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