In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
