so that wasnt chicken after all
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize