Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
