You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
