Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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