she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
