A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
