Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
