I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
