No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
