Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
