update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
