So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
