AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
