look no pants
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Watching her eat just hurts me
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
