dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize