He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
