One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
