Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Alive.
So much puke
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Pooping to opera.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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