ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
