its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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