It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
