I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
and you said cock pushups were impossible
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
