I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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